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Compare Your Values


How do you know that the person you are having relationship with right now is the person that you want to build your future together? Does he or she fulfils the criteria as a husband or wife? It is really important to explore the value that you and your partner share before you take the biggest decision in your life. Here are some of comparability values that we should take into consideration;


If you marry a person, you are marrying his or her family. This quote speaks the truth of marriage. It is stating the fact that marriage is not only about the world between you and your partner but it is all about the bigger picture. Therefore, It is really important to know you and your partner's family values and roles. Ask these questions between you and your partner, "What are your beliefs about marriage?", "What do you believe about the importance of your marriage in the light of your job? your hobbies?", "Do you believe marriage is just a secular institution or do you believe it has a sacred or spiritual element to its structure?" According to John Van, The deep stated beliefs that your partner has about the permanency and priority of marriage will greatly shape his or her behavior in marriage. and it is vital to have an understanding of these views so that your expectation of your partner are accurate.


Another important aspect to consider is our content and extent of our spiritual and religious values. Some of us might cease this aside by saying that it is not very important, or it could be alter along the way, however, some researches show that conflicts over differences of faith have challenged and strained many marriages. John Van in his book, he suggested strongly not rationalize or overlook your difference but deal with them directly. Make sure you examine both the content of your faith and beliefs and the importance of your faith.


Different people, handle their finance differently and you should consider and talk about this issue with your partner and observe how your partner's attitude towards this "thing". Some people could be very self-centered, very sensitive or could spend their money very differently from you. Therefore, there should be a key aspect of cooperation and agreement between you and your partner to how you want to manage your finance together as a family. Ask yourself, if I entrusted my finances to my partner, and how similar or different would they be handled? How would my needs and interests be considered? Would I have to worry? (John Van, 2007).

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