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Three Months Rules In Dating


When you start a relationship with someone, you decided to get to know that person above a level of regular friendship and that certainly require certain amount of time. Some of us have been in a relationship where you have trusted this person with your life, sexually active or even talked about marriage and everything started to change when you've entered the three months stage of the relationship. According to John Van, what he stated in his book is that the three months is the "magic number", for which it takes three months for many subtle but serious patterns to begin to surface.

According to research, a pattern is a behavior that repeats in a sequence over time. Without time, there is no such thing as pattern (John Van, 2007). Normally ones will put their best foot forward until they feel a bit more secure in a new relationship and gradually "slack off a but and let our imperfections surface" (John Van). This recap to the fact why it is so difficult to be sure what someone is really like in the first early stage of relationship. John Van stated in his book that this is the reason why it is so essential that you keep a grip on your trust, reliance, commitment, and sexual involvement with this person during this period of time.

The dynamic in a relationship could change over time according to the inconsistency of certain situation and character of the person react to it and it is a live saving for interpreting your "relational radar and synthesizing the different wavelengths you are receiving about your prospective partner" (John Van).

In conclusion, John Van argued that it is better to keep all of our bonding dynamics in check for the first three months, and significantly increase our safe zone while sharpening our focus on emerging patterns.

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